Things that change you…

My first job when I was 14 (other then working on my dads farm) was working with a woman who had Alzheimer’s Disease.  She was in her late 60′s and was in a nursing home near my house on a waiting list for one that had a unit for people with Alzheimer’s.  Her name was Kay and she was incredibly smart.  Before this disease took over her mind she was the head nurse at a hospital in Toronto.  The longer I spent time with her the more I saw inside of her and that she was frustrated.

Sometimes she knew something was wrong but she just didn’t know what.  She had a beautiful spirit and it hurt everyday for me to go there and take care of her.  My job was to make sure that when she wondered the halls she didn’t get lost, didn’t end up outside walking down the street not knowing where she was or where she was going.  So we would wonder the halls together, talking about nothing, everything.  Sometimes as a teenager it felt good to talk to someone who would just listen.  I would wash her hair, paint her nails, get her ready for bed.  Anything she needed me for for out 4 hours together I would help her with.

That job shaped who I am, made me really appreciate people and see that they have a past, a present, that different experiences make people who they are.  How your past can effect your future.  Except when you have Alzheimer’s, then you are caught in a moment in time, a place where you cannot move forward, you are unsure of who you are and who those around you are.  It scares me the thought of that being a possible reality in someone’s life.  How you could work so hard to get somewhere and someday it could all be taken away, you left asking “What was it all for?”  I plan on never living in regrets so as hard as I try to reach goals, achieve dreams, I will consciously remember to take everyday as it comes and for the moment remember how it feels… for today might just be the day we remember.